


To Be a God

by caplanbuckybarnes



Category: Marvel
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 12:15:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14105187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caplanbuckybarnes/pseuds/caplanbuckybarnes
Summary: Loki never wanted to be in the mobster life. He lives in regret every day of his life.





	To Be a God

Hell was supposed to be a place underground, not a set in your mind. But that’s all Loki knew, really. A life of crime and hard time behind steel bars and concrete walls. He lived in the hellfire for as long as he could remember. He’d killed his elder brother Thor long ago during a drunken fight over some property disclosures.

He lickedthe hellfire far too many tmes for him to admit out loud willingly. He’d grown immune to the torture and the darkness of his mind after all these years. He’d grown immune to the sadness this life had brought to him. He’d grown immune to the bodies he had buried underneath his own flowerbed in his backyard.

He’d grown distasteful knowing that he would die alone in this world. He couldn’t trust a dame nor a slut to stay by his side for longer than a month without taking off with a piece of himself with them. He’d lost and he’d gain.

He was a fool. He was weak. He was dead inside. He was numb. He was alone. He was isolated. He was feared. He was respected. He was a prisoner in his own world. He couldn’t escape this life even if he was cherished with a chance. He’d tried too many time. He tried leaving this hellhole he called home.

This life wasn’t supposed to be complicated for him. He was supposed to be happy and thriving. But instead, he fell asleep wishing for death to come along and take him to his hellfire homesake. But every morning, he woke up, and repeated his actions; yelling at his henchmen, counting out bills, yelling some more, bedding a whore or three, demanding his meals on time.

Thor used to speak to Loki when they were children saying that humans and animals were only on earth as prisoners to suffer the wrath of the gods and live out their lives in misery and pain. After all, to live is to suffer. To suffer is to live.

Loki hated his life. He hated living in memories and the present. He couldn’t escape reality and he couldn’t live with his thoughts or otherworldly presences. So suffer, he would. He remembered his father’s right hand man telling him not to trust anyone who lived a sinful life. Trust would only get him killed. A price he would never be granted with. A price he would be willing to pay to anyone who was foolish enough to step forward and challenge him.

But he’d get his deals with the devil soon enough. Things were too perfect in his world at the current moment. He was too calm, to harmonious. He felt too serene, too bright eyed. He knew his day would end in blackness. He knew he’d meet with his brother as he stood in the hellfire awaiting his arrival.


End file.
